3 Lessons in Listening

When humans connect and share from the deepest level of who we are, we get to experience the gift and magic of love by forming emotional bonds with other humans. This happens through the forming of friendships. Human beings express and experience a wide range of emotions, which can be healing, transformative, uplifting, and inspirational when we regard one another with appreciation, affection, and respect. Friendships are ways of experiencing the incredible life force that permeates all living things. When we open our souls and allow ourselves to be authentic and vulnerable, magic happens. Friendship is an energetic exchange of affection between two people who support, allow, and enable one another to grow and thrive. When we relate with another human being who holds space for us to be ourselves, just as we are, we feel calm, at ease, and peaceful.

Friendships offer us the opportunity practice the art of listening. When we listen with an open heart and non-judgmental moment-to-moment awareness, we get to experience our true essence. Energy flows when we simply observe and take in fully the present moment. We can take in fully the presence of a person, our friend, and this becomes such a rewarding experience! A true gift of feeling the pristine and kindness of human nature.

I used to have a really hard time paying attention and actively listening to some of my friends and family members in the past. Lucky for me, they made me aware of this. I had been suppressing some wounds from my past, that made it very difficult for me to feel myself and be present to their feelings and my own. I seemed to always be on the go – busy and full of commitments.

What I learned was that my inability to be a good listener for others stemmed from my own inability to be a good listener for myself. The more I processed old emotions and traumas, and embraced all the feelings I was suppressing for so many years, the easier it was to feel in my body and experience a heightened sense of inner connection, energetic flow, and self-acceptance.

When we commit to being aware of the sensations in our bodies throughout the day, we get to practice the art of self-love and self-acceptance that greatly enhances our listening abilities. When we listen and notice our sensations and feelings, we give our bodies the message that we accept what is. It is the same when we show up for a friend to listen and observe them without any judgment or expectation. Our friend will feel heard, validated, and acknowledged. It feels expansive, safe, and grounding when a friend really listens.

Here are some tips on how to listen and hold space for yourself and your friends.

1. Practice Being The Witness. Become the video camera of your life. Observe everything that happens throughout your day, what people share with you and notice, it as though you were watching your life as if you were a video recorder. Notice how enjoyable a person is when we are not trying to fix them, change their opinion or critique what they say to us. When we are present and aware of every moment and witness the moments without trying to change them, we get to experience true peace and calm. When our friend is sharing his or her experience, we can make it a goal to listen and feel what they are saying to us, without feeling there is anything we need to change or improve regarding their experience. When we allow everyone to be who they are, that person feels free and supported even more!

2. Speak your truth in all your friendships, begin with being your own best friend. Speak from your heart, gut, and soul wisdom. Acknowledge and honor what you feel is authentic and true for you. Do your best to express how you feel and communicate who you are respectfully and lovingly. What are you feeling now? Make sure to speak sincerely in all relations. It is helpful to ask yourself, is this what I truly desire? This question facilitates more connection within us to our heart and soul so we may share this deeper aspect of ourselves in our friendships. Friendships flow so much easier when we are clear and express ourselves clearly. Complicated friends arise when we are not in our truth and “trying” to make others happy or doing things out of obligation or guilt. People can feel when we are aligned in our truth, and when we are not.

3. Love with no expectations. When we are friends with someone because we have a deep affection for them, the friendship has a certain energetic charge and life to it. Choose to be honest and truly honor what you feel and hear inside you. Align your friendships with people you feel most in harmony with and who inspire you to grow. Love them without any expectations and you will enjoy fully the beauty and splendor friendship brings.

Apply these tips to your life. Let us know how these exercises benefit you and your friends!

Tags: emotional presence, friendship, healthy relationships, Identity and Self- Discovery, life force, listening, love yourself, managing emotions, mindful listening, presence, relationships, self-awareness, self-care, self-discovery, self-worth

Category: Compass