Remembering to Mother Myself
The New Year is always filled with mixed emotions for me. Excitement over the endless possible ways to fill the days versus complete overwhelm. I was reminded last week of two concepts: perception and intention all tied up with a remembering bow. Remember, as kids, how we used to tie a bow on our finger so we would remember an important thing? That’s what I need going into 2015: to take time to remember what keeps me balanced when I am juggling so many balls in the air.
Last week, Mina called from her dad’s house, upset because monsters had returned to scare her at night. Together we decided to turn the monsters into clowns and reframe scary into funny. She and I brainstormed a few ideas on how to magically transform them and I could see the shift in her perception of the situation. Just tweaking it here and little there, lifted the stress from her shoulders and she felt empowered.
It reminded me that sometimes when I am feeling overwhelmed and stressed, I can use that same formula. How can I flip the situation upside down to exhibit the opposite emotion I am feeling? What can I do to empower myself to deal with a situation I feel powerless in? So many times, things happen and I just want to throw my hands up in the air and exclaim out into the infinite universe: Really? REALLY??!! This is happening again? I get frustrated with the world and myself for allowing it to happen.
What if I was to mother myself like I mother Mina? What would I say? Would I be that hard on myself? What I really need to remember is that I can change my perception by shifting my focus. Instead of looking directly at the problem, I need to look from underneath, at the roots, and mother that. We moms work hard at being great mothers, but we forget that maybe we need mothering sometimes.
Mina is the memory keeper and is my own personal remembering bow: “Mama, remember when …” Recently, I was reminded of a ritual we used to do every month and at some point it just fell away into the abyss of busy-ness. Each month, we would take out our little crystals altar, light candles, write our intentions for the month, and place the altar under the full moon. It was a way for us to reconnect, close off the previous month with gratitude, and open the new month with intention. It created an encapsulated focus for us to work toward. I remembered that when I set clear intentions for just a short period of time, I was more likely to accomplish them. Likewise, if I didn’t take the time to do this, I spiraled out of control, felt like hyperventilating, and became overwhelmed easily.
As I finish up all the holiday projects and prepare for the New Year, I am going to set my intention on shifting my perception when I feel stressed and remembering to mother myself like I mother Mina. Maybe, just maybe, I will care for myself a bit better, feel more empowered, and allow myself to believe in magic by turning my own personal monsters into clowns.
Category: Parenting
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