Nutrition – A Resolution for Everyone: Be Where You Are
Every year around this time the buzz begins about New Year’s resolutions to get fit, lose weight, eat better or get organized. While the impetus for healthy change is well-intentioned, sometimes we get so focused on the future, on achieving the ultimate goal, that we forget about the realities of our present-day lives. I recently saw a client who reminded me that resolutions can be misguided without mindfulness of one’s present situation, challenges, strengths and available tools.
When I first met Martin, he abruptly shared with me a very specific goal— he wanted to lower his cholesterol. Although high cholesterol ran in his family, he had managed to avoid it by eating well and exercising, but something had changed and his doctor was already talking about medication. Martin was coming to me for an exercise and diet plan so he could avoid the medication; however, I soon discovered that he was going through a major life transition that deeply needed his attention.
I began our session like I do most others, asking him about his current habits, going through a mental checklist of changes he could make. He started each day with a bowl of oatmeal, cooked homemade meals for his family every night, ate leftovers for lunch and was eating fish more. Beans were becoming a daily staple instead of meat— they were affordable and healthy. Martin dutifully went to the gym to run on the treadmill and lift weights, but he recently lost his job and could no longer afford the membership. Visibly shaken, Martin went on to tell me that he was having a hard time finding a new job and, between the job search and trying to provide for his family, he was extremely stressed. We sat in silence for a moment, I wanted him to feel he could tell me more, but he cleared his throat and moved on. I put a mental placeholder on what he had just shared. Martin was trying to get exercise now by walking instead of taking the bus, but it wasn’t the same. He wasn’t interested in doing any exercises at home. He just wanted to get back to the gym. “So, Ms. Sullivan,” he asked, “what should I do?”
Martin and I reviewed some recommendations for lowering cholesterol and we agreed that he was already doing a lot of them. We also agreed that exercise was the biggest change that took place before his cholesterol went up. Then I went back to my mental placeholder. Martin had shared that he was very stressed and overwhelmed by his present situation. Just talking about it made his voice tremble. Martin was carrying a heavy load and even though he was doing the best he could, things weren’t going the way he wanted with his family, his career and now his health. A helper by nature, I wanted to help Martin create an exercise plan that he could stick with and enjoy outside of the gym. Based on what he shared with me, it was clear that Martin was having a hard enough time just facing his present challenges. So it was with a little hesitation that I pointed this out. “How would you feel about tackling exercise at a later time, after you’ve had some time to get more settled? You seem really overwhelmed.” Martin’s face relaxed a little. “That’s very honest, Ms. Sullivan,” he replied. “It seems like there’s only so much I can do.”
Adding pressure to stick to an exercise plan Martin didn’t want would have been like setting him up for failure, and he already felt powerless. Maybe, by acknowledging his limitations and with less pressure to take care of everything at once, Martin could start with a small change that would actually fit with his life and his budget. I asked Martin if there was some simple activity he might like to do tomorrow, or the next day, maybe with his kids. Martin’s gaze fell on the wooden table between us. A slow smile broke across his face. He looked up at me. He had an idea. Rather than talking about exercise, we spent the rest of our session planning a trip to the park with his kids.
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Category: Nutrition
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